Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Tight Rope

I've been struggling since December with a back injury.  Last month I went to a specialist for an MRI and it showed no disc damage.  Which is good, but the doc couldn't answer the question of why my back is sore all the time. It is constant.  Just varying degrees. It really messes with training and my mind.  The soreness can lead to a tweak and the tweak can lead to me being bed ridden again.  That truly sucked and I do not want to be in that type of pain again. Plus, my goal race is coming up fast! June will be here before I know it.

On Sunday I overdid it with my back during a yoga class.  It was the leg lifts.  I knew better, but did it anyway.  The moment I woke up on Monday morning, I knew this was going to be a problem.  And it is.

I feel like I am walking this tight rope. When do I keep going or when do I call it a day. Am I letting the fear of getting hurt hold me back? Is it really physical or me wussing out mentally.

Tuesday was a hard swim workout. Like vomit inducing hard.  6 sets of 50 yard repeats that start on the minute. Rest 45 seconds between each set.  I made it through 4.5 sets because the right side of my back was getting tight.  My coach was there and said to stop. I did, but I felt like a complete and utter failure. Still do.  Mentally I was toast and I feel like I used my back as an excuse.  But here is the thing.  My back really did hurt. But not enough that I couldn't have continued. Stopping was to ensure that I didn't make it worse and I know it was the right thing to do.

It is so hard sometimes. 

Just hard.

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