Oh. Wait. It was me. I am the dumbass.
Sunday was a fundraiser for the CNY SPCA called the Six-legged 5k. It is a no frills run for a great organization. Last year, Bill ran it with Lily and this year I thought I would join the fun and run it with our foster, Pirate.
We load them up in the car and Lily's whole body was vibrating from excitement. Pirate, however, was clueless, but excited to be along for whatever adventure we were heading off too. When we arrived at the park we had at least 30-40 minutes before the start of the race. Instead of waiting in the cold we thought we would hang out in the car till closer to the race. Lily thought that was a super shitty idea. After 2 minutes of her constant whining I couldn't take it anymore and got them out of the car.
Pirate was very overwhelmed with all the other dogs. Greyhounds live a very sheltered life on the track. The only other dogs they see are their own kind and this was clearly blowing his mind. He was extremely well mannered, but the"WTF" expression in his eyes was comical.
On the other hand, Lily was not well mannered. She is like that screaming child in the supermarket. Annoys everyone around and embarrasses the crap out of the parents. I wouldn't stand near her or Bill. Instead, I pretended I didn't know them. But it didn't work. Everyone knew. And Lily did too and proceeded to act even more obnoxious.
See. Lily is competitive. VERY competitive and lacks patience. She knew there was a race and she wanted to go IMMEDIATELY and be up front. Why can't I be like that? At the start line she was barking, bouncing up and down and acting like a giant ASS.
The race starts and we all surge forward. Bye-bye Bill. Lily was starting him off at a nice leisurely 7 minute pace. Baaaahhhhhhaaaaaaaa....sucker. Meanwhile, I am with Pirate who is like WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!! We start running and this woman with a 6 ft FLEXI LEAD that was extended all the way to the end and her beagle go in-between my legs, wrapping the leash around my leg. All I can say is thank god for yoga balance exercises because I almost face planted on the pavement while holding a sprinting greyhound.
Pirate was HAULING ass down the parkway dragging me along the way. And it is on video. Lovely. Thanks, Helene! You see our appearance a couple times -- one when I lost my phone at the beginning, but the real fun begins at the 3:12 minute mark. You also HEAR Lily about the 1:00 minute mark and then see them fly by.
Lily beat my 5k PR by running 25 minutes. My DOG beat me. There is something so wrong about that statement.
Pirate and I did 30 minutes. He crashed and burned at the half way point. Thank God for small favors.