I am struggling. I have no focus about what I want to accomplish over the winter months. I am teaching yoga twice a week and taking a 14 week Tri program, but can't figure out where I want to go with it. Where do I want to be with my training by spring? After? Races? Crap. I *feel* like I am having a mid-life crises as an athlete. I cannot seem to make a decision and the indecisiveness is driving me nuts.
On the bright side of things. The winter tri program is going great -- granted it is only the second week, but I am really enjoying it. The coaching staff are awesome. It is nice to be learning so much about the sport. This is the first time ever using a bike trainer and I don't think I will ever be able to go back to a spin bike again. I love being on my own bike. This week they had us doing 5 minute intervals at 90-100 cadance. As sweat was dripping in my eyes, I thought, they want us to go this fast out on the road? The thought scares the shit out of me.
On the running side. I am running once a week -- a long run. My friends and I want to keep our fitness up with running 10 miles on the weekend. This isn't the smartest thing on my part and need to get in a few short runs during the week, but it has been so hard to get everything to fit in my schedule!
Last weekend in lieu of our long run we did the "It's A Wonderful Life" 5k and had a blast. I do believe I had a PR 26:36 (garmin time - the clocked only at the end with a guy and a wand so I am going by the watch). And I felt every bit of it. This was the first race in a long time that I thought I was going to puke by the end.
At the end, I thought, DAMN. What would have it been if I have been running consistently?
Self doubt. It sucks.