Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Time I Didn't Race

Had an absolute blast running the Boilermaker. Why? I didn't race it. And I am SO fine with it.

A friend of mine had a stroke three weeks ago. She is my age (42)!! Say it with me. What. The. Hell.

She made a full recovery and was out of the ICU in 4 days. Seriously. You would NEVER guess she had a stroke. The doctors told her that if it wasn't for her level of fitness it would have been a whole different story. Actually, she is going to be on their website! Anyway, this was her first run since it happened. Yes. The doctors said it was okay for her to run.

We decided this was an easy...EASY...long run. And we took that seriously. It was GREAT! We laughed, sang, did the YMCA and rocked out the R.O.C.K in the USA, thanked the volunteers and went through sprinklers. At the 8 mile mark my friend felt so good that she was near tears. A great weight was lifted from her shoulders. Mine too because she is my running rock. Do you hear me, friend!! NOTHING CAN EVER HAPPEN TO YOU.

I was more than happy to be by her side. The Boilermaker is not a race I like to really go full out because it is too freaking crowded. The first 3 miles are extremely frustrating of bobbing and weaving around people. You are NEVER not shoulder-to-shoulder with people. My energy is more focused on the people around me and not my running.

When you decide not to race a race you get to see a lot of douchery during a race. Here is a recap of some of the douche behavior we witnessed:

1. Dude in a full spiderman costume. I hate...HATE...people who run in costume. I don't get it? Why would you want to put on a full polyester costume on with a face mask during a race called the BOILERMAKER. You deserve the dehydration, douche.

2. Girl talking on her cell phone at mile six. To quote "it is to hard to text while running so I called." You have NO idea how much I wanted to slap that phone out of her hand. Or slap her in general.

3. This is a good one. A guy hands water to the girl he is running with. She drinks and then throws the cup directly over her head behind her. The person unfortunate enough to be behind her got a cup in the face. Really?! Have you NEVER run a race before?

4. Guy wearing the shorts that was only being held up by his penis. Dude. Pull up your shorts!!!

5. The girl wearing a running outfit that should never have been seen in public. We nicknamed her kaleidoscope girl. The shorts were TIGHT spandex in lime green, orange swirls and the top was the same fabric, same colors but a different design pattern. It hurt my eyes. And my brain.

6. We also saw a BIG hairy dude wearing a similar color scheme, but his shorts were the silky, short, shorts with the slit up the side. Yeah. It will take a while to get that image out of my head.

7. The lady that was running so far up my friend's ass that her feet went underneath my friend's heel and she stepped on her foot. They both almost did a face plant. She didn't apologize or say a word. I have a word for you, lady. DOUCHE.

Maybe next year I will carry "douche" stickers with me and slap them on people? I will be sure to start with myself.

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