It has taken me this long to be able to talk about last Sunday's death march of 13 miles. This run has risen to the top of being the worst long run in the three years I've been training.
Yep. It was that bad.
At the start I knew it was going to be ugly because I felt tired. Bone tired. The day before I ran what was to be a 5k (see previous post) but ended up running close to 4 miles at a tempo pace (8:59). Plus I just got back from vacation and didn't run much because of the heat wave of 2011. Add on that I totally screwed up taking my thyroid medication. It would help to actually take it! Put all this together and it added up to me wanting to slit my wrists by mile 4 into our long run.
To prove it (I can't believe I am doing this) here are my splits. Typically, my long runs I can hold an average of 10:30-10:35 pace.
11:46 (this is going to fucking suck pace)
12:29 (WTF am I doing pace -- get the razor blades!)
11:24 (someone kill me now pace)
11:59 (starting to doubt everything in life pace)
13:02 (and we are walking)
13:08 (still walking)
My legs literally ached so bad. I could not move them any faster (obviously). It hurt. It sucked. And I wanted to cry. At one point I was 100 percent positive that I was going to bag the marathon. Say 'fuck it' and just run when I want to, when I felt like it, and not a moment before.
Then I showed up for hill repeats on Tuesday.
I am still devastated about last Sunday and have a lot of doubts swirling in my head. This year I wanted to get a 4:30 or better marathon. With the way things are going, I am not even sure I can do the marathon without walking. What is wrong with me?!
This Saturday we are scheduled for a 16 miler. I am praying to the running gods that just part of the run feels okay. I expect the end to suck monkey tits, but dude, I need a good run.
I NEED IT. I need a fix.