Monday, May 02, 2011


You know what has been a huge pain in the ass since I started swimming again? Grooming. The last time I have shaved this much and often was before I was married.

Sunday, I thought I wouldn't shower before swim class. Why bother, I was going to shower later. I put my suit on under my clothes and started getting my gym bag together. About 10 minutes before I am to leave I had a terrifying thought. I DIDN'T SHAVE!!! And people. *I am not talking about my legs.

Question: Why is it after 40 hair grows at an alarming rate? ANYWAY.....

I knew I had to at least do a precursory shave or else I wasn't going to be able to concentrate in class because I would be obsessing thinking there were a whole bunch of rogue party favors going on down there. So I did a quick shave and headed out the door feeling pretty good about things. A feeling that was very temporary.

The class was a extremely frustrating. "Coach" had us working on drills that would help us be more balanced in the water. After the first drill it was clear I have no balance because I ingested half the pool. (side note: cholrine burns when it goes up the nose).


Here I am going to tell you why I am going to hell. To make myself feel better about my suckiness, I would wait to go last so I could see who in the class sucked worse than me. AND not only that, I was so happy that there were people that sucked worse than me.

Make room in the hand basket.

*I apologize to any of my relatives reading this because there is just some things you don't want to picture.

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