Thursday, July 02, 2009

This I can't believe I am going to share. But I am. I have no pride...obviously.

This past weekend Bill and I flew to Ohio for my parents 50th wedding anniversary. We flew in Friday and left Sunday morning. The party was a blast, my sister's new house is gorgeous, but that isn't my story.

Saturday's are scheduled long runs, and I was scheduled to run at least 2 hours while in Ohio. My sister lives in a new development out in the middle of farmland. You can runs miles alongside corn and wheat fields. These roads have little to no shoulder and shade. Because it had been so freaking hot in Ohio (90 degrees) I knew I would have to start out EARLY if I didn't want to bake and shake. My plan was to start my run around 6 a.m., no later than 7 a.m.

Friday night we arrive and the family decided to order pizza for dinner. PERFECT. Carbs! I had a few beers, too much pizza and some snacks. Didn't think anything of it.

My normal routine is to get up at 5 a.m., have coffee and let my system have a chance to wake up, if you know what I mean. Eat something around 5:45, leave the house at 6:30 and get to the run site at 7 a.m. Everything has been up and moved out by then. I can carry on without any worries.

For some reason I didn't follow this routine. And. I will never, ever, not follow my routine again.

Get up at 6 a.m. - have a half-cup of coffee. Went to the bathroom once. Thought, that is fine. I don't need to go again. All is good. All is not good my friends. Not good at all.

Start on my run at 6:30 a.m. System. Not awake.

7:15 a.m. - 3.5 miles from house. On a back road somewhere in Ohio this happens (you just have to watch the video for the first 30 seconds).

At first I thought, I can make it back. Then a wave hit me that damn near brought me to my knees. After all the stories I have heard runners tell me about ducking in the woods, it was about to happen to me.

I stood in the middle of the road thinking of my options and scouting locations. All I kept thinking was how the HELL did I end up on an open road!!! Doesn't this state have freaking trees! Shrubs! No. There were three houses along this road so I knew I had to find somewhere that would give me some privacy! I mean, how would you like to look out your kitchen window, getting your morning coffee and seeing some chick in your yard....having....issues.

Then I noticed the wheat field. It was about waist high and there were some tracks made in the middle. It was far away from the houses (at least I hoped) and it would hide my bare ass. It was the only option. Either that...or my shorts. I was NOT picking the latter.

So, there you have it. I went in a wheat field and continued on my little way. Feeling much better mind you. Learning a few lessons along the way. One, is to carry toliet paper with you on long runs. Just in case.


DPaz said...

I don't want to talk to you for a while

bazu said...

BWAHAHAH...! You can still come to my house...

IHateToast said...

welcome to the club.

i did that. didn't even make it. another secret is that i always run in ugly undies so that i won't miss them if i oopsie or come near to and need a little TP. yup. we all do it. you've been initiated to the Krappa Krappa Poo sorority.