I am going to suggest to change the name of Textured Vegetable Protein (TVP) to TVPG:
Good Lord Man! It really should have a warning label on it. My house last night smelled like one great big ASS. And it wasn't from the dogs! Yesterday I made breakfast burritos using TVP and by the evening was gassing the dogs and husband out of the room. It wasn't the type of 'loud' gas either. It was the totally silent, but violent kind. Where it swirls up like a big smelly green cloud and hovers for awhile before dissipating and by that time another one is forming.
Thankfully, I am still married this morning and the dogs will come around me.
I did manage to create a little poem in honor of TVPG:
There was no where to run, no where to hide.
A bug has seriously crawled up my butt and died.
My husband, just don't oven bake me he cried!
I can't help it, a bug has seriously crawled up my butt and died
They called it Textured Vegetable Protein, but they lied
The should call it Holy crap, what crawled up your butt and died.