Another crazy week at work. I don't mind because right now it is good for me to be busy. When I am not busy I have time to think. To remember. For the next week I don't want to remember. This time two years ago my family and I watched my brother die a slow and painful death. It was ugly, it was brutal and there are moments that the memories of those two weeks damn near bring me to my knees. They are sharp and fly into my mind unexpectedly. The moment I got on the plane to meet with the doctors and nurses. The meeting when we decided not to give him a feeding tube and he would die. Hospice. The look in his eyes, the tears he shed, and how he was always thankful.
We never left his side. It was our promise. He wouldn't be alone. He was finally released on February 2nd - one week from his 38th birthday. This week will be random ramblings of those days. They won't make sense. They will be contradictory. They will be my penance.